Strava segment names

I got a QOM today on a segment called “altar boys are always bad.” I turned myself inside out to get it but the name is …uh, weird. What are some of your head scratcher Strava segment names?

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I once got a KoM on a segment called “The Adventures of Creamy Christopher”. No idea what that name is about, or don’t want to wonder. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I lost it during lockdown and haven’t been back.

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Once got a KOM on ‘Hairy Corner’ … dunno who they were calling hairy … not Ben back in a few years. Imagine it’s gone now.

There is a Strava segment on Texter Mountain Road near me. The Strava segment is called “Texter, I hardly know her”. I always find it funny.

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Riding in a new area over the weekend, I did a 450m stretch at 17% that finished at a closed gate on a dead-end road. I created it as a segment and named it ‘The Brutal Kick to the Gate.’ Not terribly weird, but terribly appropriate. The next segment I encountered on my ride, though, was called ‘C’mon up guys, the weathers fine.’

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Were on a early morning ride passing through the city and a drunk guy starts waving his arm out in front of us from the side of the road, in front of the night club as though he’s waving down a cab or trying to knock us off our bikes. We swerve to miss his arm, he’s holding out his phone in his hand, instinctively my mate puts his hand out grabs it. We’re hammering along at this point, my mates surprised he’s actually got the phone in his hand so just throws it back over shoulder back towards the guy who’s now standing with his hands on his head in disbelief he’s just had his phone snatched. As the phone lands on the ground in front of the owner it slides straight down the storm water drain as he’s grappling to get a hold of it and is lost forever. The guy can’t believe it, he’s ranting and raving. We keep on pushing on down the road on our bikes at a fair speed trying to take in as much of the view from over our shoulders as possible while trying not to fall off from laughing at the whole situation. Anyway after the ride we created a segment called “Sticky iPhone”. Whenever I pass the nightclub now I still get a chuckle at the thought of him trying to recap and remember as he sobered up what exactly happened to his phone that morning.

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KOM on ‘fat men with little sticks’ its a parking lot at a golf driving range.

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That’s a great story!

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There’s one near my area which is called “Oh crap, Sven’s here”.

I was told that Sven was some professional racer who decided to drop in on the ride.

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One of my favorite segments in my neck of the woods is just a little kicker that goes up to 3% for about 0.2mi but it’s called silence of the lambs. Personally I don’t think it silences anything but hey it’s a nice little pump to the ride.

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On the back road between Chippenham and Royal Wootton Bassett ‘Why not sniff your mother’s bra’ is immediately followed by ‘Gloria Hunniford’s Hairy Back’. Both flat uninteresting mile sections

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I came across a segment called Segment yesterday. Somebody must have spent a lot of time thinking up that name :man_facepalming:. Bit of a contrived one that last changed hands in 2013… well, before yesterday.

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One of my new favorites is “seriously watch out for stupid people on the right.” Makes me giggle every time

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My commute to work features a section of bike trail called “dodge the joggers” and that same section of trail the other way is called “dodge the dog walkers”.

Works well and is fairly accurate with the time of day I ride them.

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Comical MTB segments local to me are
Larry’s dogging spot
Knicker Trail (had a pair of knickers hanging above it for years)
School girl skirt (!)
Rocky Horror
Garlic Bottom
Shit tent maggot trail (seriously - this had an abandoned infested tent)
Long kiss goodnight
SNYF (speed is not your friend)

I loved a couple from MTBing in the alps
Moist Nun (it’s always wet and nobody rides it)
Double header

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